Mate, you have no idea how the law works, and you can’t spell. Get the fuck off the internet.

Don’t panic but you might be a horcrux.

It’s what you drink when you don’t want the soda or the purple stuff.

Somewhere in the Senate halls, Al Franken can be heard banging his head gently on his desk.

Hmm. A misanthropic nihilist doesn’t have a good sense of humor? Who knew.

I’m not sure what the big deal is here. Democrats and Republicans are exactly the same or so I have been told.

And the toilet upon which he died.

Oh, Rob!

As a tribute everyone should break out into uncontrollable laughter at her funeral.

I was feeling fired up/ready to go from the march, but THIS shit?

Ideally, the people responsible for “Li’l Bush” will come back with a new version: “Li’l Trump,” the orange, foul-mouthed toddler who pushes kids off swings and plays the stock market instead of playing with toys.

If you cease consuming Cheetos, the terrorists will have won! 😢

Joseph: “We’ve been abstaining and you still got pregnant, Mary? JESUS CHRIST!”

“Oh, is it? How about fuck you!”
- The Blessed Virgin Mary

I know the “Turmp” in the third paragraph is an error, but can we keep calling him that? Turmp is remarkably close to the sound my stomach makes whenever I hear his name anyway.

How long before we get Keifer Sutherland?

Sessions is not good enough, not smart enough, and doggone it, people don’t like him.

And also...does he think that famous people don’t pack their dresses and that they fly to Washington, with the attitude like, “Oh..no biggie...I’ll just buy one when get there.”

She looks like she’s always trying to read a faraway sign on a breezy day.