Apparently, in the right situations, I have an affinity for it. In the 500 DoK series (may it rest in peace), one commenter frequently suggested I should change my name to “Shaded Helmsman.” Jay and Kristin seem almost too easy a target, though. I find myself turning back to Kara to develop my talents to a level…

I'd claim the same thing, but it turns out I'm just too dense to get shade right.

A flying puck could easily kill a child. Was he fired? I realized that as students, we weren’t told anything. I’m also sure that the parents were never told. Holy shit.

I am an American and it freaks me out too. I’m proud to say I’ve never touched a gun and hopefully will never touch one the rest of my life.

I call that a clutch 11. It’s like a catch 22 except it’s pink, smaller, half as effective, and twice the price.

The Patriots being a perennial favorite is proof there is no God.

I mean, if Ben has to stand when the judge walks into the courtroom...

Maybe he found a black fly in his Chardonnay.

It pretty much the MOST respectful protest he could have made. Why are the “blah blah blah died for our freedoms” people not realizing that this is one of those freedoms?!

Thank you. I can’t with this “they fought so you could []” shit. Somehow the [] is never the more correct “buy cheap gas.”

The national anthem should be about the 2 vast oceans that naturally disincline any wouldbe predators.

Hang on, I need to lay down before my rage stroke incapacitates me.

I am confused. Donald Trump leaves his son home for very long stretches with a former nude model from a former Soviet bloc country, but when Huma Abedin leaves her son home with a man who just sends photos of his tumescent underwear, it’s a national security threat?

AAAAAAAA

Thank goodness I hate Seinfeld.

It’s different up there. The allergies suffer from Russians.

What is so utterly terrifying about this bald clownfish is that your statement isn’t hyperbole. Based on what he has said about her, that could very well be a legit desire of his. JFC, I can’t believe this is actual reality. Holy shit, ya know? I can't believe this white supremacist has gotten this far. Goddamn.

Fucking Obama again!

Highly puntable!