He doesn’t support Israel because he loves the Jewish people, you spoon.

It’s amazing to me that fans of a franchise that has won six titles still feels the need to devote this much time to being butthurt.

Do you believe in Wall? Say quick that you believe. If you believe, clap your hands!

Do these low-hanging dick jokes require a Masculine Toilet?

Oh honey...

User name checks out. 

This is a tin foil hat I’d be willing to wear.

And you took those lashes with a lot more grace than I dished them out. My apologies for being a dick about it, I go from zero to pissy way too quick these days.

Donair food comas are how we survive the winter.

For years, my nerd-dream has been to go to the Cosmosphere in Hutchinson. But, as that would involve going to Kansas, it’s a dream destined to go unfulfilled.

Actually, not all health cards have photo ID. Nova Scotia’s doesn’t.

The secret to the donair is in the sauce: sweet and garlicky, looks like jizz but tastes like ambrosia. Here in Halifax, home of the donair, you can also get a donair submarine sandwich, donair pizza, donair egg rolls, and donuts topped with donair meat. Come to Halifax - your belly will thank you, even if your…

What the fuck are you talking about? I can only think that you’re under the impression that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’ last name is Castro, because all them Hispanic names sound the same, right?

Tomatoes do have notoriously bad taste in sunglasses. 

Bolton looks like a puppy who just got his nose shoved into the mess he made on the carpet.

Can confirm. Source: Haligonian.

What a simple, easy solution! Why didn’t I think of that?!

Hellooo!

My Eastern Canadian city has decided to rain on the Weed Wednesday parade by banning cigarette, cannabis & vape smoking on all municipal property - INCLUDING streets and sidewalks - except for a limited number of designated smoking areas. So now when I want to take a cigarette break at work I have to walk 4 blocks up…

Oh, good. America’s new slogan: Better Than Saudi Arabia!