They’re a family of Fredos cuz they’re shmart.

They’re a family of Fredos cuz they’re shmart.

Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny?

Bruce MacKinnon of the Chronicle Herald in Nova Scotia. Another great one from him:

My hometown editorial cartoonist. He’s a genius.

Sweet hot taek, bro.

Not with a bang but a whimper.

Don’t you have anything better to do?

You were drunk when you wrote this, right?

I’ll admit to being one of those plebes who eats a well done steak, because as a child I was served a plate of chicken fingers in a diner that were completely raw inside the breading and I have been pathologically paranoid about well-cooked food ever since.

Tom’s not being very well behaved. A quick bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper would probably help.

Raised by a single mother, put herself through college, good relationship with her wife and four children, endorsed by the DFL...

Is there some sort of bat signal that calls all the Woody Allen apologists whenever Ronan Farrow’s name is mentioned?

It’s velour, you fuckwit. 

I don’t think I’m being hyperbolic when I say this is the greatest thing I’ve seen on the internet. 

Well, I assume she owns a mirror, so she actually DOES know a con when she sees one.

And bring back Youppi.

Did Tyler Clippard have sex with your wife or something?

Of all the garbage takes I’ve read on Splinter (and there are so many to choose from!), this is hands down the worst. So congratulations, I guess.

People crapped all over Biel’s performance in the Illusionist, but I thought she held her own pretty well against some real heavyweight actors. Also, OMG I LOVE THAT MOVIE SO MUCH.