In Chairman Meow’s world, pussy grabs you.

A friend of mine was once pranked by someone in his office by changing his error sound to Meg Ryan’s orgasm from When Harry Met Sally.  

Actually, in this case it’s called an idiom. But nice try.

I once knew a Dick Peter Johnson. In their defence, his parents were Dutch and didn’t get the connotation(s).

Yeah, the leg kick hesitation comment really steamed my carrots. Even the most cursory research would’ve told them that Osuna introduced the leg hitch WEEKS ago. I’m not saying it was Harold Reynolds bad, but it was pretty terrible commentary.

As a Maritimer, I’m very offen.... no, no, you’re totally right.

A Pence presidency scares me more than a Trump presidency, because they both have horrific, country-ruining ideas, but Pence might actually be able to accomplish some of them. As such, the American Presidency should be like the Goblet of Fire: once you’ve put your name in there you can’t back out.

I thought this read “buy everyone in this nation a cat” and I got really excited for a minute.

My friend’s mother got her first job in twenty years working at the deli counter of a grocery store. On her first day, promptly cut the tips of two fingers off with the commercial slicer.

Would you also hire an electrician to fix your plumbing? Prefer someone who’d never performed surgery to do your triple bypass?

I’m pretty sure Disney’s modus operandi is to destroy the lives of young children. I can’t event THINK about The Fox and the Hound without getting all verklempt.

Confession: I *love* Arby’s. I worked at Arby’s for six months and ate a metric shit ton of free roast beef sandwiches.

OOOT, but my cat will only drink the water left at the bottom of the tub after my morning shower. Then when he’s pretty much licked said tub dry, he naps in it for a good portion of the day.

Well, actually, you’re talking about it right now. See - the topic is irresistible!

I mean, nothing REALLY bad, like pneumonia.

Nah. I’m really not.

Um, no. He’s not. He literally only said that America is a great enough country to survive a Trump presidency, conservatives tried to spin it into an endorsement, and uncritical thinkers such as yourself bought into it. (Source: http://www.snopes.com/tom-hanks-backs-donald-trump-for-president/)