Spinach is NOT a lettuce.

Oh, these take me back! Maybe too far back.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
A: Elephino. (Hell if I know)

Q: Have you heard about the new restaurant they opened on the Moon?
A: The food is good, but there's just no atmosphere.

That's one on my 'go to' jokes. You get a better response if it's a baby seal.

It's an optical illusion. From i09:

Off-field transgressions are irrelevant.

He's worth about $15 million.

"She touched my pepe, Steve."

Kyle lies and he's a hero.

Suspend your hate. Arby's has been a Stewart slaptoy for a long time. This was actually a pretty funny reaction.

"Yabbut. England, Scotland, Ireland, Northern Ireland and Wales are all basically the same country, right?" - An American.

I think he looks way more like the fat gay dad on Modern Family.

You're trying too hard; your comment history is pathetic.

It's like Lifehacker only less helpful.

"Don't be black" is the kind of crap I expected to see a lot of in the comments, I was surprised to see it leading off the actual article.

As a white man who knows some cops, I'd also tell you the rest of the tips may be rubbish. Cops really just hate black people. Even existing is a crime.

Three months ago, your post would have gotten hundreds of stars.

So, just do what the cops ask and you'll be OK, right?