For some reason, I’m hearing this Tweet in the voice of Charlie Day and it’s perfect.

“I need you to perform at her party with specifically a minnie mouse dead-mow-five head… not a mickey mouse dead-mow-five head.”

Steak puns are a rare medium well-done.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

And as we’ve seen over and over in so many woman-centric arenas—sexual assault prevention foremost among them—the impulse to protect is very different from the impulse to ensure equity, and the two things, worked out in practice, are often exactly at odds.

The Cask of the Trumpmantillado.

I’m forever greyed so no one will probably see this, but here :)

Honestly Britbrit I like where your head’s at you just have to be careful. I’ve met a lot of hot nerds who came into their looks post-high school and it’s made them into MONSTERS. And you’re like, how could you cheat on me while borrowing my car and they’re like ooooo I was never hot in high school and they almost cry…

So, I think I’m not the only one who’s sad we don’t have a place to talk about what’s going on with the Scalia replacement situation here on Jez. You know, since he was a terror for women’s rights since the 80s. I made a place, in case people do want to discuss it.

I can see “How am I being subtle!?” finding it’s way into my brain and coming out at some point. Hopefully an appropriate one. Wish me luck.

Then, after shooting some hoops, the hosts took off their skin costumes and masks. Underneath, with their tentacles free, they looked much larger and menacing than normal. Hundreds of shiny, silver teeth glittered under the hot lights of the studio, and the gel-like substance that coats the majority of their bodies…

GUYS I JUST GOT A CONFIRMATION EMAIL TO ATTEND THE TAPING ON FEB 15TH!!! I AM BEYOND STOKED!!!

Madeline Albright is 78 years old. She was born in fucking 1938 in fucking Czechoslovakia until FUCKING HITLER forced her family into exile in England during the Holocaust (in which THREE of her Grandparents died). She lived through the blitz in London, hiding under a metal fucking table during Nazi bombings.

The problem with the code is that there’s only a single response behavior for under_attack. It wasn’t designed to respond to multiple successive attacks like what happened yesterday. That’s what caused the glitch. By modifying the code to select from a random obama_bash function each under_attack, it should be…

At least in the long run they’ll eventually be joined by every other species on the planet, and quite possibly all life in the universe itself, as reality becomes an eternal void devoid of life or subjective experience.

I join the NY Post in reprimanding her mother, who can be a desnuda all she wants, but should not be allowed to parade her daughter before an audience of likely pedophiles.

Blood coming out of his wherever...

For real. And how am I supposed to fit into an ultra thin condom after eating a tub of ice cream?