Yes, a 29-weeker would still be in the NICU for at least two months, on average. When babies are born very early, the rough estimate is to plan onnthe baby going home around their due date. Some babies are able to leave earlier, some for much longer depending on what challenges and setbacks they have/avoid along the…

Getting a baby of this size and from point A to point B is risky. It requires disconnecting monitors, ventilators, respiratory support and hand-bagging of the baby if they are intubated. Often medically necessary surgeries are even done at the bedside instead of the OR because the move down the hallway has too much…

I work in a NICU. Babies this early are rarely able to be held safely and some are even more challenging to care for because their hear rate, blood pressure and oxygen saturation zoom into the danger zone with even the most routine, medically necessary intervention. I am guessing this had more to do with how the…

I work in a NICU. Sometimes babies die. We always offer professional pictures taken by volunteer photographers. Families almost always opt for the pictures.

Last winter I woke up one day and one knee looked like it had swallowed a softball whole during the night. I thought I tore something somehow so I headed to the orthopedist. I was fortunate he immediately thought it was Lyme, because it was. Apparently, I had it for years and was unaware and asymptomatic. It took…

Yo, our kids should hang. One day it was all Paw Patrol, Paw Patrol and now now Octonauts every fucking day. Creature report! Creature report! In my brain, always.

Yeah, PG County! Got most of my schooling there, too. Went to a predominately white elementary school and I remember literally zero books with any characters of color. Middle school and high school were much more diverse in terms of literature, from what I remember (I’m old, it’s been a while).

Are we siblings? Cousins? Did your grandparents have a toy poodle approximately the size of a tangerine that somehow managed to take up the entire couch?

Pinwheel. Pinwheel. Spinning around. Come look in my pinwheel and see what I found.

People, the boy looks pretty much exactly like my 2-year-old. Minus the general coating boogers and apple sauce and stickers and whatever. Scrappy Jr., I swear I won’t cover your face or not feed you or leave you alone.

Also, my entire birth plan was “I will punch you in your face if you make me look at the placenta.” So yeah, I am biased against placenta-eating.

Uh, midwife sound be ashamed for making you feel that way.

Eh, to me everything is about my kid, me and my c-section. Because wenwouldve both died without it, unless you have a better suggestion of how my transverse, 22.5-inch, 9.5 pound-kid should’ve exited my 5 foot 1 self.

I will keep on trying with Taylor, you keep on trying with the yogurt. And maybe one day we can have a party, rocking out to Ms. Swift while eating yogurt.

My one-year old looks at me like that when he’s taking a dump.

I really wish I liked her music, because she sounds like a normal, appreciative person who respects her fans. Is she an acquired taste like hoppy beer or sushi? Is there any hope for me?

I have a 1-year-old who shits when and wherever he sees fit. But like hell we change him when and wherever we want. Christ. We carry him out to the car if we need to, or, you know, take him to places appropriate for a toddler. I’d lose my freaking mind if I saw a parent changing their kid in the middle of a…

I forgot the part that when they tapped my knee it was chunky and thick and so, so GRODY. I am five feet tsll and had a 9.5 pound, 22.5-inch long kid yanked out of me and having Lyme goop slurped out of me hurt worse. Like, infinately worse. Again, fuck ticks.

This winter I woke up after skiing the day before. One knee looked like it had swallowed a goddamn softball. Thought I tore something skiing, went to the orthopedist. First thing he said was Lyme. I thought he was full of shit until he tapped the joint and sent it away for a sorts of Lyme tests. All were positive.…

I hear you. Kicked cable to the curb years ago when it became obvious that most of the shit we watched featured people who were hateful bigots and that we’d sadly taken hate watching to a new level. So, bye bye cable. Only bad part is that I can’t boycott TLC until they cancel this fuckibg heap of child molesting,…