No, I know that. But I'm just saying as a reaction, you see so many things in the news where, "Oh, that guy with the tight, red sweater everyone loved? Well, he was on Reddit saying he liked looking at Jennifer Lawrence's asshole."

I want to say 80% of Reddit is fine-to-great material. But I get the disdain, I really do. Reddit has not only redpill but fucking "creepshots." If you're not familiar with the site and you know it birthed BOTH of those things? Revulsion is going to be a pretty common reaction.

Why do you get drunk at Thanksgiving and make things really awful for everyone when you finally "tell it like it is"?

FAKE SUPERHERO MOVIES

It makes a damn good Mad Max movie!

Exactly!

"I'm a torso!"

I was gonna say maybe the John Belushi/Dan Aykroyd duo doesn't do it for me, but I remembered that I actually like the hated Neighbors.

I saw a kid do that, too! He was already really stupid, so it was impossible to tell. I wish we'd had a better test subject but no one with the desired level of intelligence we were looking for was willing to do it for us.

*Blood-splattered Trump declares FDA guts as safe for human consumption*

"I think they can maybe do more than two things?"

Because kids like chocolate, see. And they get to pretend to be their favorite American Hero: President Trump… but it's for kids and totally safe for children to snort this "cocaine."

Did Steve Bannon get this idea from that place in Skymall that paints your dog or cat as Napoleon?

Good on this painter for adding a teeny-tiny cock bulge. It's like, most of the bulge is just pants, with a minuscule point on the end where his actual penis is resting against the fabric.

Mostly just those two, actually. I assumed I'd feel similarly to Stripes, but when I watched it it was pretty damn charming! Ghostbusters is great. Spinal Tap is a classic. Vacation rules. Trading Places is wonderful, except I'm not a big fan of the guy in the ape costume. I was, surprisingly, a fan of naked…

How tempting must it be for a painter to add about a thousand pounds, broken blood vessels and stink lines to any portrait of Bannon?

Last time I was in Vegas, Smash Mouth was playing a free show right outside my hotel. I was heading out, and we heard "Some-body—!" and my friend immediately went, "Oh, Jesus fucking Christ."

Blues Brothers just goes into a mental file I have for movies that I can technically appreciate, but don't personally enjoy. See also: Caddyshack.

When "All Star" came out, I was twelve, just about to turn thirteen. I was like the prime demographic for that song, and I always thought it was a piece of shit. Even though, at the time, I really did like "Walkin' on the Sun."

Morrissey's secret, guilty pleasure is to watch Guy Fieri eat hamburgers all over the country.