Sad!

Republicans will take whoever they can get, it doesn't matter if they endorsed their shitty spokesman or not. By simply NOT saying Donald Trump is a human dumpster fire, that's close enough for support, and the GOP will cling to it until they're told not to.

I know, right? The Target closest to me is a fucking shithole. It's on a par with the worst Walmarts.

I'm sorry, but in order to win elections, you must not be able to speak in complete sentences.

All the Trumps have that weird, slack face, like they're too stupid to look like they're aware of their surroundings.

It's just a shitty name, you know? And he looks like a Lester!

I have a pretty strong stomach for disgusting things, but the reference to "chlamydia cheese" in the most recent season of Orange is the New Black made me visibly cringe.

That fake Bart guy, Lester and his sister Eliza! Skateboarding past Bart's house all shitty!

Leaving it up to Twitter usually results in, "Well, he didn't actually use the N-word, so he's good!"

Speaking of Dark City… Dark City is one of my all-time favorites but I haven't seen it in forever. Seen it like a hundred times, so I haven't really felt a need to for some time, not for a few years. I own the director's cut on blu-ray and I've still never seen that version of the film.

"You're funnier than that comedian who ruined Monday Night Football!"
-Buck Strickland

I was rather glad when Dennis Miller became a crazy-ass conservative because he was never funny. So, that gives us one less loud, shitty celebrity on my side of the political spectrum that I have to dismiss.

I like the idea of online gaming, but it's not for me. I just prefer playing alone, man.

Just listened to it. That's it, huh? Same beat, stuttering guitar riff and limp-dick vocals the whole time? It… never changes?

How the fuck does Fall Out Boy have fans?! They're awful. Their Ghostbusters song was really, really lame but nothing compares to "Centuries" which is quite possibly the most irritating song that's ever been recorded and I'm being quite sincere. If it's not literally the most irritating song, it's top five.

Is this Friday the 13th game one of those games designed specifically to be played online? Because I wanna play it, but I don't wanna play online.

I feel like I hate most of the popular "indie" shit these days. Any one of those bands would make my list. That Hozier fella, that "Take me to Church" song? I fucking hate it. I hate it even more than the modern-day banjo-plucking, knee-slapping bullshit.

You're only saying that because they're trying to bring back segregation in any way they can, which is by passing bizarre anti-trans laws and idly sitting back while police officers kill minorities!

Of course he's a Republican. He's going nuts on a joke that hasn't been anywhere near funny for at least 15 years or so.

"Goddamn crybaby Millennials."
-Guy who bought his house outright in 1985 for $30,000