Man, I've been shat on by a lot of birds in my life. Once, as a teenager, a seagull shat on my crotch when I was at the beach trying to flirt with some girl. Yeah, it looked like I jizzed myself while talking.

I enjoyed the fucking deafening silence of the the audience I was in during the Deadpool short film before Logan that fell flat on its face.

A bird shat on me after some guy kept trying to sell me a laptop case on the street I had no use for. He came up to me, asked if I wanted to buy it, politely said no, he said it was a great price, I said it didn't even fit anything I had, he persisted so I said, "Leave me the fuck alone," a bird shat right on my…

I love the kid's reaction when he realizes what he said.

I feel like every Transformers movie I've seen out of context on TV, or a trailer for, has a sliding scene on a collapsing building.

Tagline: He's drunk again!

That movie was incredibly charming, and I was dying of laughter when that kid accidentally makes it sound like Sam Neill's been molesting him. "He had a sore leg so he made me do things for him. It was hard at first because my hands are so soft, but I got used to it. I didn't really wanna do it, but it was the only…

A Talking Cat From Hell?!?!

"I work for a company that does basically we take like business requirements from organizations. Then we analyze those requirements and then we build software to fit those requirements.

I'm a sucker for the movie's stupider gags, like when Vlad takes off his mask at the ball to reveal who he is, but struggles with it, but the movie still has like a "surprise" chord when he's revealed.

That was one of my favorite gags in the whole movie, just that everyone takes an instant liking to Stu.

I'm not really a huge fan of Thor as a character or his solo outings, but "What We do in the Shadows" was really, really fucking good… so I might need to check this out.

I was like, "It's gonna show him sweep the whole fucking floor, huh?!" but about five minutes later, I ended up finding it really soothing.

When are they gonna get to the sawmill?!?!

I wasn't crazy about the last two episodes, mostly because they were almost entirely Dougie-Coop meandering around and getting into really silly, predictable misadventures, but this episode last night was really fucking good. It's really starting to come together, man.

Jackie Brown is a GREAT fucking movie, but I still agree with your ranking of the top four. Jackie Brown is mature storytelling, something Q.T. hasn't really done before or since. But Pulp Fiction is one of the top films ever made, Reservoir Dogs is one of the best directorial debuts of all time, Kill Bills vol. 1…

I feel like your comment is one of them, uh… metaphorical things. Am I way off base here?

See, I told you So!

Most things are better than Hannibal by a country mile.

Gross!