Kumail, I would stare at you because you’re famous, hilarious, and v. v. attractive. Apologies to your equally awesome wife.

This woman is THE WOOOOORRRRRSSSSSTTT.

Let’s not fall into an assessment of who is or isn’t rapeable. Damon’s frame for this is fucked up. We don’t have to use it.

every single time she tweets something about John Legend i just yell “WE GET IT YOURE TWO VERY ATTRACTIVE HUMANS WHO ARE VERY MUCH IN LOVE STOP RUBBING IT IN”

If I had a quarter for every person who says I should get this procedure done on my hair I would be rich enough to run on the Republican ticket. I have NO idea what people have against curly hair. It isn’t like I’m growing snakes or tentacles from my scalp and my curls sure as hell won’t give me cancer.

I’m not like the other tourists. I will have an authentic local experience. The locals will think I am one of them. I have the most taste and I am the most special.

“Is oral sex safe.”

You know what, I’m going to copy&paste a really good post I saw on Tumblr. Not my words, but I wish they were because they are so right.

“Agonizing” and “heartbreaking” are not terms I would use to describe my decision to end my pregnancy, “logical,” “reasonable,” “responsible”, etc., etc.

“She also said that Ted Cruz “looks like there’s something wrong with his face, like a Property Brother.””

When I was studying anatomy in college we were taught to have the utmost respect for the bodies and body parts when touching and manipulating them, because someone who was once alive allowed us the privilege of learning from their remains. When we used lab animals for teaching purposes, we were called on to have the…

Not every woman who has an abortion finds their decision to be “agonizing and heartbreaking.” Plenty see it a standard, safe medical procedure and go right on with their lives. I didn't care for the pearl-clutching tone of this article.

Primed and ready to deploy!

I mentioned this while were editing this post (and I’ll add what I can find to the appropriate playlists!), but the entire genre of downtempo and trip-hop is more or less sex music, and as someone who used to be a DJ I can’t tell you how serious I am about this even as I have a huge grin on my face. :D A couple of…

Love like you’ve never been hurt! Fart like nobody’s home!

But I was already farting with abandon.

Despite my disappointment (I mean, people fucking everywhere and hardly a dong in sight?!)

I like to think of it as Steve-insky. Like it’s his frat bro nickname or something.

Ohhhhhh that’s how you spell Channa Joffe.