I don't always, but when I do, it's because the pooping muscles were ejecting the tampon anyway.

#thingsionlysayonline

I take it out before I poop, and then replace it after I'm done. I hate period poops. They are the worst.

No. Ultima is the worst. And I have run races where that was the only beverage served. And they serve these drinks because those companies pay the most. They don't care if runners like it or not.

French for "epic lap crumbs."

I can't tell if I want that pie or not. The chocolate and whipped cream look fabulous, but it looks like it's on lightly burnt papers.

It's only tight until I get a hold of it, right guys? Up top! Anybody?

If this shit actually worked, we'd be a nation of (apparently functionally illiterate) coffee straws and summer sausages and the birthrate would flatline.

And yet we are still bullshitted with the insta-orgasm. Fuck you, TV and film orgasms.

Ways to Watch Live Sports on TV, Ranked

As with any event where you carry a purse and you go with men, you end up carrying all their crap in your purse.

One of the most frustrating things about the lack of pockets in women's clothing is having to stand in the long-ass line outside of all sporting events and shows so that someone can look into your purse with a flashlight.

Can we just have a freeze-frame moment of glory for that jacket:

for all loving god, who goes to a butcher and orders "two meats"?!

I met Prince Harry. And touched him. And had a picture made. He smiled, laughed, and talked. I nearly pushed my husband off the bench so there would be room between us.
Backstory: May 2013 His Royal Hotness came to Walter Reed-Bethesda to visit wounded warriors. Since my dream man is one (war sucks, umkay), we got the…

Fitting that Cabrera wasn't able to do it. Only the true MVP may toucheth Beltre's head.

This is so goddamn distracting. RUN BITCH GET TO A CHARGER

Clair Huxtable is why I'm a lawyer. I wanted to be her. I even moved to NYC. She was my childhood hero!

Kathie Lee and Hoda are literally the smartest women in the country. They found a way to get paid to get drunk and talk about inappropriate shit. I raise my glass in your honor, ladies.