He'll have lots of sympathetic pitchers in the other dugout when the Cubs come to play the Padres this weekend. At last night's game, Tyson Ross went seven strong innings, and gave up one run. His teammates had eight hits.

Because he's looking you in the eye, not at your chest. Takes a little getting used to.

ZOINKS!

Casey Kasem's disappearance looks like a job for Scooby-Doo!

I was going to just dismiss this, but the other commenters are doing such a good job savaging your stupid bullshit points that I don't need to.

I'm just saying that someone has to work at McDonald's and that it's probably going to suck and that they're probably never going to get a decent tee time at Pebble Beach, but they should at least have health insurance and be able to feed themselves.

All I can think about is So I married an Axe Murderer. Is it bad I say this to my own kid all the time?

I'm pretty sure people with names like Cumberbatch are born in a tux.

Fun fact: Astley was my first legit pop star crush. I am not ashamed of that anymore like I was that time in 1988 when my friend saw a notebook filled with pictures of Astley I cut out of magazines I had in my locker and said "ewww you like this guy ugh he sucks" and I had to pretend like I found it on the bus. I LOVE…

Clarks. Super comfortable and many come in different widths. I had a pair of mary jane sandals from there and they may have been the most comfortable shoes I've ever had. I never even had to break them in! Which is rare with new summer shoes.

I think you missed the most important cameo of the night, Ginuwine singing 'Pony' in memoriam of Lil Sebastian.

Have you tried throwing them in the trash to see what kind of odor develops? Yes, there will be some, but it's not as bad as you probably imagine. And if an odor develops in ANY of my trash cans, even before trash day, I will take the bag to the dumpster outside. Sometimes I do it at a convenient time, like when…

YES. The Selfie Loathing post always makes me feel angry and/or uncomfortable.

Disclaimer: I think mothers are great, and I love my mom, and this is meant with no disrespect to anyone who is, has been, will be or wants to be a mother. And I might just be in a terrible mood. So really, no one should even read the following comment.

I can't be the only one who misread the title as "Joe Biden" and thought "well, I guess there is no such thing as a private life when you're the Vice Prez"/ was lowkey interested :/

I bet the tech shirt was god awful.

It gets worse. They didn't even say "bitchin'," it was "bitching."

Frientists, Mark. They're called, Frientists