Unless your birthday was June 12, 2002, it probably didn’t have anything to do with 9/11. 

Did Michael Keaton do anything particularly amazing to get in shape for Batman? I think the only time we even see him with his shirt off is when Vicki sees him sleeping upside down, and that’s from behind. Tim Burton’s vision was for Bruce Wayne to be a little weird guy, so it’s all costume for him.  

The Boomers who all worked for the same company for 35 years don’t believe jobs are temporary. They built their personalities around “I gave myself over to this company, and I’ll never retire so I don’t need to worry about finding coverage when I move on.”

Who, exactly, are we protecting Canada from? We’ve tried to invade Canada before and the borders didn’t change, and that was like a century before they had the world’s farthest confirmed sniper kill.

If bankers had any damn sense they’d get down on their hands and knees and beg Liz to give them some rules to follow that allowed them to remain fabulously rich without having to hire extra security to keep the pitchfork wielding mobs from dragging them to the guillotines.   “My actual tax rate might jump from 12% to…

Well, since someone read the tweets on Fox there’s a good chance Trump will know what they say. 

Nah, I assume Ollie North has a shithead spoiled son who runs some shady office that mainly seems to be a front for money laundering. He’s the new pick, and we’ll get lots of puff pieces about how it’s a family tradition to serve his country. 

So the plan is to save money by not paying drivers a hundred dollars a day and paying GM a hundred dollars a day for an automated vehicle instead?  If they stop paying drivers they’re going to have to start paying for cars, car maintenance, and car insurance. They only “work” now because they’ve unloaded all of the…

Trump couldn’t catch a paper airplane and he’d forget where it landed before he could lumber over to it. 

He probably prints this letter out with a new date every morning and carries it around in his suit pocket all day. 

That’s Fox’s job. 

“Those memorials kill the birds.  They kill all the birds, and it gives you memorial cancer!”

They know their audience, and they aren’t no book-readin’ sissies who wanna go read about some guy named LOU after ever’ play.

So, what’s the process for applying to be an EU member state?  Is there a ban on readmitting former members, or a cooling off period before Britain can rejoin?  

Except he got first pick of orders when he graduated, and he picked a high-visibility position where new lieutenants get fast-tracked for quick promotion. He got moved back to the states to work in a supply office. 

There’s something broken in our country for a while now, where hurting others is seen as a legitimate form of entertainment. I used to work with a guy whose sole reason for playing video games was to troll strangers into rage quitting, like “I’ll just target and harass a random person until they get mad and quit” was…

Trump established a charity to try and show off and impress wealthy Manhattanites who all run charities, but he failed because he didn’t realize that self-dealing and personal enrichment wasn’t the point of a charity.  Now he’s in charge of US policy for events like this, and he’s still too stupid to realize that…

He should ask him “As a West Point valedictorian who got his choice of orders and a primo career-making assignment setting you up in a high-visibility cavalry unit, what did you fuck up that got you bounced out of the Army after four years?”

He also met with the Saudis first thing and told MBS that we would back them as a stabilizer in the region, which emboldened Saudi Arabia to start bombing school buses and chopping up journalists.

There is no President of Zamunda, they have a monarchy.