The funniest part is, apparently everyone else in the Trump Organization has been sitting on a similar message from journalists, and when Eric realizes that in two weeks time he’ll have another meltdown that no told him journalists had been reaching out to employees. 

Right?  Paramedics face all the same scary shit cops face and don’t start killing people over it. Firefighters run into burning buildings to drag people out and don’t start waving their axe at everyone in the vicinity. I can only imagine how far “I feared for my life” would go to explain why you fucked up and let…

How many hand offs and organizations does money has to pass through before it’s fully laundered and clean again?  None? As long as you don’t say “this is a bribe from the oil industry” I guess it’s okay. 

A dummy I don’t regularly work with was complaining about how Walmart was making a mistake, because “they aren’t telling about the guy who took out a shooter the other day.” There’s a whole network of gun nut memes where any incident with more than two guns is celebrated as a heroic ‘Murican saving everyone from the…

Is that why Trump’s hips look so wide?

Right? If they run you about driving a shitty old car, explain that cars aren’t interesting when you can fly jets, then treat them to a short field takeoff with the maximum departure angle.

If I was on the US’s naughty list, I’d just write a beautiful letter in a large envelope to the President telling him that he was my friend now.

I can’t believe that this PM is NOT the PM who fucked a pig. 

The Don Jr defense: he was too stupid to realize he was committing any crimes. 

I have no problem at all believing the people who associate with Deadeye Dick there can’t pass a background check. 

You’re a piece of shit.

Didn’t we bail this fucking company out so they wouldn’t lay off a whole bunch of workers?  Who’s going to bail them out next time?  

It’s almost like everyone around him notice that if you bitch to him about Boeing, he’ll tweet some dumb shit about Boeing that will dip the stock price in a predictable way...

Hell, that sounds almost exactly how owning a firearm in the military worked. Keep it at the armory, where some drunk, angry ass can’t get it in a hurry.

I love that “ALL APOLOGIZE!” is going to be the idiocy he’s remembered for most, sort of the way Nixon is famous for being the reason any fuck-up is called “—gate.”

Dude, enough of Splinter’s writers don’t even think voting is worth it, I promise they aren’t trying to burn anything to the ground.

Look, no one wants to celebrate a war they lost, okay?  Just let him stay home and pout. 

It was designed by a tacky elderly woman with a trust fund, obviously it called out to Donald Trump that he needed to own this magnificent property.

They told him the storm would move north, and they couldn’t give him a good answer why it would do that, and now South Carolina is getting evacuated!  ALL APOLOGIZE!

Oh, they cured his diabetes, so he was good to go indefinitely, right troll?