Is that why Trump’s hips look so wide?

Right? If they run you about driving a shitty old car, explain that cars aren’t interesting when you can fly jets, then treat them to a short field takeoff with the maximum departure angle.

If I was on the US’s naughty list, I’d just write a beautiful letter in a large envelope to the President telling him that he was my friend now.

I can’t believe that this PM is NOT the PM who fucked a pig. 

The Don Jr defense: he was too stupid to realize he was committing any crimes. 

I have no problem at all believing the people who associate with Deadeye Dick there can’t pass a background check. 

You’re a piece of shit.

Didn’t we bail this fucking company out so they wouldn’t lay off a whole bunch of workers?  Who’s going to bail them out next time?  

It’s almost like everyone around him notice that if you bitch to him about Boeing, he’ll tweet some dumb shit about Boeing that will dip the stock price in a predictable way...

Hell, that sounds almost exactly how owning a firearm in the military worked. Keep it at the armory, where some drunk, angry ass can’t get it in a hurry.

I love that “ALL APOLOGIZE!” is going to be the idiocy he’s remembered for most, sort of the way Nixon is famous for being the reason any fuck-up is called “—gate.”

Dude, enough of Splinter’s writers don’t even think voting is worth it, I promise they aren’t trying to burn anything to the ground.

Look, no one wants to celebrate a war they lost, okay?  Just let him stay home and pout. 

It was designed by a tacky elderly woman with a trust fund, obviously it called out to Donald Trump that he needed to own this magnificent property.

They told him the storm would move north, and they couldn’t give him a good answer why it would do that, and now South Carolina is getting evacuated!  ALL APOLOGIZE!

Oh, they cured his diabetes, so he was good to go indefinitely, right troll?

Nah, shot-in-the-face baby isn’t going to be photogenic. Is the mom hot enough to pose with Trump?  

Some idiot at work was talking about El Paso as an example of why we needed more guns. The Dayton shooter started shooting pretty much directly in front of some cops, and the best case scenario was that 36 people got shot.  What the fuck do these idiots think more guns are going to do?

Steve Scalise got his dick shot off and he doesn’t think we need to change any gun laws. Whatever fear they have, it’s worse than “maybe me and my family get mutilated as a direct result of my policies.”

Well, it’s cloudy today. They’re having a hurricane.  Trump’s going to brag about personally surviving Dorian, isn’t he?