For those that are wondering about the threesome: Boras was screwing Harvey and the Mets at the same time.

As long as it’s within the first 5 yards, it’s legal...?

“Harris, I want you to get out there and suck the shit out of 87’s dick. He’ll never have a chance to get off the line!”

What idiot called it an astronaut quarterback commencing hostilities on the lunar surface and not war-on-moon?

“Hey Antonio, this is only $3 a bottle and will have your head clear by Sunday afternoon!”

Greatest turf on show.

He is afraid of death and I am afraid of life.

He suffers, from what I like to call, “Nunchuck Leg”.

At least it settles the debate.

Cowboys: A little done

Marchman:

Was always cool when he referred to himself as his number...so like 4th person.

My God, I’m not even half as honest with myself as Fred Smoot is with a bunch of random Redditors. God bless that man.

Me too. Can’t say stuff like that ever occurred to me as a thing to do. “Hey, welcome to the team. Here’s a stick up your ass.”

“(*N&#^ TGGTV 6GHDGDD91na89”

- Peter Gammons

Look. If they were racist and a joke, someone on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour would be making money on them.

I think I saw you at the bank, too.

This is why whenever I need to get some food, I just go to the supermarket and hang out by the checkout. I get to be in close proximity to people who have food, which is the same as having it, yourself.

If I had an Arsenal of Nuggets ready to Avalance out of my britches forming frothy brown Rapids in my box seat, you better believe I’m getting the door barred to make sure no one Rams their way in.