well played sir. +1 long, luxurious pull on the glass

The fact that this list did not include Atlanta Hartsfield AT ALL, much less in the number one slot it deserves, disqualified it immediately from my serious consideration.

Come on, let's not "Jump To Conclusions."

"He was slurring his words, saying his buddies were waiting for him."

Fuck Proud of His

The Medicine Hat News was asked by Medicine Hat College sports and recreation staff to use his first and middle names prior to the season, but will use his proper last name going forward, starting with this story.

if you've been a Saints fan for longer than ten minutes, it makes perfect sense. In a the-universe-hates-us-and-2009-was-a-karmic-wormhole kind of way, I mean.

+1, just +1 more year in the NFL

TL;DR: "That's not love. That's not love at all."

Actually, when you go on national TV and put two "news" blowhards in their place (with perfect appropriateness and accuracy), that's not "hiding." That's "winning."

He's had quite a career:

I really dig the Beer Camp. Hoppy flavor with a lighter body. Win!

Lethal force up the wazoo

"I don't recall those times as anything special."

"Yeah, I'm not sure that's really Ishmael."

how dare you disrupt my snarky trafficking of stereotypes with empirical evidence!!!

+1 ticket to Hell and/or Tampa

Will the NFL arrange to spot the Raiders and Chargers nine wins apiece each season? Because we all know that L.A. sports fans will only support winning teams.

Yep, I loved it. It should be remembered by more people as a classic.

Another out-there-at-the-time movie plot that is probably only a short time from becoming reality: