I used to work with a guy who would latch on to every conspiracy theory he could. We'd go back and forth over each of them and no matter what evidence I'd throw out it was never enough on any topic. This guy was not a particularly sharp individual and after a few years of these discussions it became clear it was…

Officers on scene were unable to determine if the driver was sober, as he refused to speak, exited the vehicle, stood stock still for a second, then fell over. His injuries consisted of a large swelling on the top of his head, and a number of asterisks orbiting his head. Upon inspection of the vehicle, deputies noted…

God help us if bears start driving. They can’t keep it between the yellow lines

Then create a blog post and cover it. Your Kinja ID gives you the ability to do so.

He confuses getting banned with getting no responses. 

“And what about Thomas from Washington? He can be found at the iStock video gallery under the title, “Bearded and tattooed hipster coffee shop owner posing.””

“He was scheduled to attend an event on opioids in New Hampshire”

That’s what I’ve been doing for the past twenty something years.

No one cares about the filthy poors in the IE and their unremarkable landmarks.

Fuck, yeah. They’d find me on the flight deck, sitting in the captain’s seat making prop plane noises and surrounded by empty mini bottles. My first words to the rescuers [maintenance folks] would either be “I’ll never get over Macho Grande.” or “Surely, you can’t be serious.”

I hate when Grand Theft Auto starts lagging out and the streets are filled with the same couple cars.

No kidding, couldn’t they use a 737 Max for Trump?

Flying back from a vacation at Disneyland. Plane hits significant turbulence. I throw my arms into the air like its a roller-coaster, leaning from side-to-side with the turbulence.

God, PLEASE.

Honestly, they’re War Boys now, those entrants, and if they die they shall have been witnessed, riding to Valhalla shiny and chrome.

“I’ve flown with a 24-hour flu”.

Harsh but fair.

I think you’re confusing rally with a GM dealership. 

Jokes on them.   The US didn’t lose a single F-35 during the Vietnam war.