It’s a very good question.

Well written.
TLDR: Trump is a poor person’s idea of what a rich person is, dumb person’s idea of what smart person is, a weak person’s idea of what strong person is.

next customer is Saudi Arabia, so they can classify decapitations as accidents...

COTD

In a world where the U.S. Prez openly and freely lies about everything from the size of his inauguration crowd to...well, anything, with complete impunity and lack of repercussions, he could just declare that local authorities are overwhelmed and in the Repugnicon mindset it would be true.

This is what is called an amphiboly logical fallacy. They are conflating the literal meaning of invasion (which the US military is charged with preventing) with the figurative meaning to justify the use of the military.

Is that truck camo designed to be effective in Minecraft or something?

Is the story here road rage? Or the crew cab with the license plate “BEEZZZZ”?!?!

How this will actually play out, in real life:
Army: “materials scientists have worked for decades to reduce the weight of your kit by 20%!”
Every Sergeant Major Everywhere: [scrambles to figure out how to make Soldiers carry 20% more gear]

God, I love that movie.

Goddamit Floki, learn where to park!

Does the technician get to affix a little sticker of a fighter jet to the outside of his toolbox now?

Nice price or crack pipe

I towed him that was illegal.

“Chad Ludington” is just too perfect a name for this story. 

I counteract robocalls by never answering my phone. Works 100% of the time.

This is supposed to be a calendar from the 80's but doesn’t have this drawn on it? FAKE CALENDAR! Sad!

130lb kid with wire hanger shoulders wisely didn’t test himself against the old man. Old guy working at a gas station means he’s had decades of barely surpressed anger/disappointment/struggles just waiting to erupt.