First you complain that I don’t have a good relationship with you mother. Then you complain that I do. What the hell do you want from me?

Once you reach a certain age, pitching a tent gets harder and harder.

I identify with this greatly. I can’t wait until Trump fucks with my other pleasant distractions. Oh, look, here he is. Invited to a dinner party with the Real Housewives. Sitting at the table, eating a steak with ketchup before he grabs the shouting woman’s tit. Turning to the camera smiling, his tiny little thumb up…

“Valuable tool” my ass! It’s a fundraising tactic 99% of the time and that’s it.

The first time I heard this song, I sincerely thought she was deaf.

If you watch that speech as an American, you had to be thinking ‘what in the world is going on?

There’s no way they weren’t making a delivery to some senior care food contractor.

They make it really easy to spot d-bags.

They make it really easy to spot d-bags.

Even when American runners didn’t end up on the podium in international meets, I always took pride in the nasal bone strength they displayed during competition. Now, I realize that was all a lie. I don’t know what to believe in anymore.

Tim Allen has/had a TV show in 2017?? Sounds like FAKE NEWS to me.

each and every one of them is a cry for help.

Arv Raman = internet jackass

Jesus christ, every time FA shares something we get to hear you guys bitch about it. You’re not the only people who read this website. If you don’t want to read these kind of articles, don’t fucking click on them. It’s that simple.

People need to stop with this shit. My dad is going to start expecting my brother and I to restore some old Bronco and it ain’t happening.

Nah, 93 Bonneville, forest green with gold accents.

This is why I simply refuse to have friends.

*Car dealer pulls out fiddle.*

Sooooooo, the Amazon servers are going to crash tomorrow night then. Got it.

Ten bucks says he concedes immediately on Election Day, then spends the next four years insisting it didn’t happen.