This is the dumbest fucking article I’ve read on Splinter in a long time.  Congratulations.

I’ve ALWAYS figured that the guy who never eats a meal with a woman besides his wife hitched his wagon to the guy who bangs and pays off porn queens because he just knew that Individual 1 would go down in flames, and Mr. Manila Envelope could slide right into the Most Powerful Office in the world without spending a…

Unless you’re part of the family, NEVER work at a family business.

Great.  Now I want two doublewide monitors.

Great.  Now I want two doublewide monitors.

NOW THROW YO’ DOORS UP IN THA AY-ER!

I used to work on a survey crew with a guy like that, but being a bunch of white males, he had to refine his aim: We’d go on field assignments and he’d try to band the team together against the old guy. Then the old guy retired, so he went after the tall guy. Then the tall guy got an office position, so he went after…

I’m sure there were bad people on both sides.

But our water is record clean!

But our water is record clean!

It’s pronounced “’Murican!” (exclamation point is part of the spelling)

The most depressing part of your sentiment is the realization of how many poor, dumb, weak people there are in this country.

1. Purchase car

There’s only ONE Cheddar Bob for me:

Vehicular casting for all TV and cinema should be approved by Vince Gilligan.  This man gets it right.

Accusing the current administration of lying is like accusing the sky of being blue (or grey, if you’re in New England).

If you have a winch on your personal vehicle, all you want to do is find excuses to use it.

NOOO! Please Chevy, don’t listen to the haters.  Keep making these ads so that Mahk can keep making fun of them!  

Under construction photos: Gorgeous.

Again, NYC apartment. She’s lucky the outlet isn’t IN the sink.

Again, NYC apartment. She’s lucky the outlet isn’t IN the sink.

It’s camoflauge, just like on a prototype car. He’s trying to hide his physique to confuse the opposition.

I feel your pain, brother.