Former Army Legal clerk here. Although I never saw a destruction of government property case, I saw plenty of drug cases, OUI’s, sexual harassment, and fighting. You’d be shocked at what it takes to get a dishonorable. But then, I got out in ‘97; shit is probably a bit different now.

That is ugly as fuck.

Whereas the Focus ST has ~90 more ponies than the base model Focus and weighs ~1000 lbs less than the Edge.

The press cannot treat any of this with skepticism unless they want to look partisan. News reports facts, period. You want skepticism (plus a healthy dose of snark)? Go to Colbert/Trevor Noah/Seth Meyers/John Oliver. It’ll help you keep your sanity in all of this.

Cash be ousside, how bou dah?

I believe this sort of discovery falls under the precedent set by the case of Losers v. Weepers.

Awesome flame job, though.

My sister teaching me how to use a clutch by describing it’s functionality: “Picture gears meshing together...” All I could picture was gear teeth getting stripped to nothing as metal shavings flew everywhere. I stopped listening to her and looked it up in Encyclopedia Britannica. It was 1985.

How many comments did it take before somebody went racist? Two? I think two is average for YouTube commenters.

Physics, indeed. Look at the two cars in the pic: They’re airborne, yet their suspensions are compressed. Boo.

Motorsports do not need mascots because fast-moving vehicles are awesome. Y’know what needs mascots? Golf. Golf is boring.

Will I look awesome when I pull up to Starbucks in my orange metal flake my bubble visor, Chuck T.’s, skinny jeans, and lumberjack flannel?

Because you are, in all likelihood, just standing there when the light changes. Put your fucking phone down.

Barrister Foster Robbins: “Your honor, Jalopnik have bad cotemr sevis.”

Maybe the taxi business was out for a jog and it happened to pass inmate 230589710 Mr. Michael Cohen, Esq., on the street...?

STARS STARS STARS STARS STARS

Same old story: Came in too hot and ran out of talent. And why is it always the Ducati riders?

What about truck nutz? (I was gonna post a pic but I don’t need that shit in the search history of my work ‘puter)

I absolutely believe in aliens. The only problem is that they travel in time and like to hang out around about 4 seconds in our past, so we’ll never see them or be affected by them in any way. Bummer.

They lost to Fairleigh Dickinson, 9-8 in the 13th inning.