Morphine for shoulder pain? Huh.

Just realized maybe this was a reference to the black Star Wars character dude (Rey or some shit)? Wasn’t he a “janitor” before going on his first mission as a combat storm trooper?

Now if we could just get Jia to stop dating white dudes...

anti-christ.

Looks like he also got his hands on some of that face-melting LSD.

Okay, fine. Starred.

Cooling the earth by way of warm piles of shit.

It’s the power play in coercing the pics that’s the thrill, my friend—not nude pics in and of themselves. Firing up the ‘ol internet does not require you to assert grotesque, domineering power over anyone.

I find it more refreshing than depressing.

Step one: Make NFL refs full-time employees; and vigorously train them year-round. It’s just shocking the NFL places such a critical aspect of their multi-billion dollar industry into the hands of part-time contractors.

That sparkly belt she got was to die for.

Referring to Infowars as a “conservative” site is quite generous. I would’ve gone with describing it as a site for “entirely bat-shit crazy paranoid white guys who project their psychic-internal strife onto the geo-political world around them,” myself.

It’s never about the cookies.

I remember when everyone couldn’t believe Google paid $1.65 billion for YouTube in 2006. In retrospect they got a steal. (Which is not to say I think Activision got a steal here.)

I bet Kelly demotes Grimes from strength coach to running the practice cameras from the cherry pickers.

Why do baseball coaches wear the uniforms? In no other sport do the coaches wear the uniforms...

I once played a pee-wee hockey game the day my pet gerbil died. To this day I don’t know how I found the strength to get through it. But I did. I even managed to play a little Ms. Pac-Man in the rink arcade afterwards.

Nah you’re stuck in the 90s dude. I’m a Bay Area resident and for the past few years Niners fans have way outpaced Raiders fans in terms of sociopathology. I’m a neutral observer because I’m a Chiefs fan (ugh, I know). But Raiders fans have made a remarkable turn around of late. I would go so far as to say they’re…

I can’t tell if your call to dissolve the Union is part parody or what, because truly you can’t actually believe that’s remotely plausible or beneficial. I understand how we the people are getting the candidates we deserve as reflections of ourselves (and it’s a pretty horrible reflection), but your answer is to…

This game. This feeling. This is what it means to be a Chiefs fan.