This is all a nice bit of fun projection onto the tangerine canvas that is his face. But it’s also wrong. The man absolutely has presidential plans he’s looking forward to. And he’s wasted no time putting them into action, as evidenced by all the choices he’s made for this transition teams.

Sources also confirm he has engorged nostrils.

That’s why the ad features a driven, successul businesswoman presenting charts in a boardroom. Arrows pointing up and to the right and not shit running down her leg.

Looks like the only kicking Josh Brown will be doing from now on is against his wife.

Can animals have gender identity issues?

Why do you think NFL TV ratings are down this year for the first time in decades?

It all traces back to his thumbs. Spend a few hours googling “Ryan Tannehill thumbs” and everything will make sense.

I guess I better start giving a shit about both of them if I’m gonna pick sides.

Send dick pics to a 15 y/o girl? Eesh. You really believe that?

I think Radar left us a big clue here:

Here’s some poetic timing... the Bills enter a bye week on the day the rest of country elects a new president. Me thinks the Pegulas will take great joy in firing Rex on the day Trump loses. You may recall a time some months ago when Rex introduced Trump at a rally in NY. The Pegulas and Trumps are NOT friends. This…

They should also post a pic of this cop passed out in his cruiser after he snorted Xanax and crashed into a middle school.

I call bullshit. It’s a difficult crime to prove and prosecute. I’m guessing they get wiser, sneakier, smarter about it.

When we see Will Smith firing lasers from his jetpack.

What the fuck happened to Billy Corgan?

Who’s the horniest Deadspin staff member?

#10 about not making alien contact seems a bit short-sighted. This universe is fucking HUGE; we have only begun to have the capacity to pick up radio or other intelligent life-created signals that may be out there.

A term being thrown around lately is “coveillance”—the concept of transparency between the State and the People. Yes, ubiquitous surveillance is a pre-destinted future, but it can actually be quite good and healthy when the view into activity runs both directions.

Here’s my reductive analysis...

This will not end well for Ziff Davis.