Was the ask for $10,000 or 10,000 words? Cause you definitely got one of them.

Clearly he graduated from the Joey Crawford School of Refereeing

What in God’s name is this??

The only thing the French have ever been ballsy about is stealing things. It was probably as simple as they knew it was a multi-thousand euro bike and wanted the money.

Is this the deadspin equivalent of someone getting on your Facebook page and posting something random? Cause I am bewildered by this “article” by an “editor.” Bad grammar, misspellings, choppy progression due to huge chunks of information left out, it has it all!

Well that would explain why I can’t arbitrage the gap between your comment and something that is actually funny.

I am pretty sure you have no idea what you are talking about and just read a finance book or saw Wolf of Wall Street, but please, go ahead and explain how you would arbitrage buying a put option and short selling stocks.

I am very surprised by this. I thought he had a lot more heart than this. I thought he was just a lunch pail guy, you know, someone who you’d want your daughter to date.

If the only thing you took away from that comment was the two words “corn subsidies” then you not only missed the whole point but are part of the reason why politics have become so bi-partisinally disabled.

At first glance I too thought the Easter Bunny got JFKO’d upon impact.

Cornhole is not really that popular on the west coast. Even in college tailgating and beach environments.

You’re right. Had to though in order to make my dumb joke regarding the original comment about playing Bocce “on fucking grass”.

“I came here looking for something to make me mad. I kinda found it! Close enough! Rawr! Now I feel better, yet I don’t. Again.”

I agree, playing Bocce sober is way more fun.

[Sees headline] “Wait, Real played their second leg today??”

As a deadspin commenter, I too am a beloved elder lol statesman.

I know sewage gets dumped in the river, but I am surprised the brewers were able to find some big ol’ dingers and dongers in Thames.

Not unlike Alec Baldwin who appeared to draft a 19-year old who was actually 13.

Facts to the rescue!

Wrong.