“...extra bonus points should be given for continuing your routine in total darkness.”

I’m going to be pissed if he comes out of the cave, sees his shadow, and gives us six more weeks of LeBronWatch.

“Ludicrously preposterous. Kahwi is bellicose, George is contumacious, and LeBron is effulgent. There’s just NO ROOM in LA for my histrionic loquaciousness.”

Hide yer dóttirs, sons.

You know it’s a been a good night when a large dong elicits a loud shit.

technically its an incel phone

He’s naturally injury-prone. It runs in his jeans.

Ahhh ok, i get it: Barry was incapable of jinxing the Capitals this year despite several tries, so he goes for the Nationals. What do you have against DC, Barry? And that last name, Petchesky? Sounds Russian to me....time for some game theory (1/569)

A young Michael Jordan did the same thing, kind of.

Very surprised at the outcome, since Bryan struck me as someone whose wife hadn’t fucked him for a long time.

Who didn’t shoot? J.R.

Much like his hairline, it’s not the lie. It’s the cover-up.

This time, Stephen A. might have a point when he blames someone for getting hit.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

Is there some available coach out there who has a secret plan for making James less good at basketball?

Flex. Torque is a rotational force.

Whiskey ginger? What linguistic abomination is this?

Distilled down: the Flyers’ best player is 30, the Leafs’ best player is 20.

A couple more years like this and he might even be in the hall of fame conversation.

Now that’s some offensive rebounding!