I checked all the porn this weekend, did not see him.

Your comment steered me to Wikipedia to reacquaint myself with Brunell’s bankruptcy, when I stumbled upon this gem:

I look forward to building a relationship this season, I as the expert and you as the eager “student” of my expertise. 

After the game, Odell Beckham Jr. told reporters that he was more concerned with Humphrey’s erection during the play, as well as his own.

Confused and angered by their departure from the natural order, Humphrey was determined to see the Browns choke.

HE ACTUALLY COMES ACROSS AS COMPLETELY RATIONAL AND INNOCENT OF THESE BASELESS ALLEGATIONS AND IF ANYONE DISAGREES THEY SHOULD BE FUCKING HANGED FOR TREASON.

Some PGA pros have attitude problems, some are chuds, some are rude to fans, and some are addicted to gambling and adultery. But when it comes to shafting the game of golf, Bryson DeChambeau has only one way to do it.

Could have been worse- usually when a Colombian ends up 80 kilos short, his whole family gets murdered.

White people in Philly immediately became terrified upon learning a large black man owned a Gunn.

A classic for people in the know from Michigan:

He voluntarily signed for QPR, so that’s highly questionable!

I stand corrected: Geoff Cameron is still a shitbird, but he seems here like he’s not totally insane. It’s certainly true that he’s owned his beliefs in the past, so if he says this wasn’t him it probably wasn’t.

They are definitely on the soundtrack.

he only did it because adam lowry’s stupid mom forgot to bring the orange slices....AGAIN

I’ll always appreciate him because he was the first pitcher to win the Cy Young despite not winning many games thus pissing off all the old baseball people. 

Word is, Keogh, Lawrence and Bennett ordered one last round of pints before they foolishly drove drunk. All three of the pints had a fly in the glass. I guess Bennett politely asked for a new pint. Lawrence apparently picked out the fly and kept began drinking. Bennett pulled out the fly by its wings and yelled “spit…

To be honest I don’t actually know what etoufee is.

Hey, I’ve had Werewolf beer! It’s pretty OK.

Fuck this shit.

In Soviet Wisconsin, pitchers carry Brewers!