Yes, my floor is clean.
Because I don’t allow people TO WEAR SHOES ON IT.

My SUPER Italian grandfather used to always yell at me for not calling sauce “gravy.” I got the last laugh, though—he had a heart attack and died in his sleep.

I’m glad to see that Vardy has finally snapped his scoreless streak.

More like Borussia Bunchabadbacks, amirite?

Better hide the yarmulkes from Sgt. Slaughter here!

lol...

Meanwhile, in Canada, our new Defense Minister is sworn in;

Is there a less pleasant entertainment experience than actually going to an NFL game. The absolute worst people this side of an MMA event fill the place and are ugly drunk before they get to their seats. You miss the other games. The only good thing I can think of is it means you definitely won’t have to listen to Joe…

The Pirates are already winning now! They’ve won the 2nd most games in all of baseball over the past three years!

Nothing like the pure unbridled enthusiasm of being a Cubs fan in December. Now just wondering how we will fuck all this amazing potential up and lose a playoff series to the Cards on a Kolten Wong inside the park home run with 2 errors charged to Schwarber or some garbage.

Ever since I saw him in that Tenactin commercial I got rid of my athletes foot!

Why would you print that out and use it to wipe? They sell paper specifically for wiping your butt. Also, you need more fiber if it takes you an hour to poop.

Speaking of players, would Herm Edwards be where he is today if not for Joe Pisarcik?

Except that they actually don’t. The idea that “both sides are the same” has no facts to back it up. Look at what conservatives must say they stand for in 2015. Not look at what progressives must say they stand for in 2015. Look at what laws Republicans attempt to pass. Look at what laws Democrats attempt to pass. No…

Those are, in fact, citizens acting as individuals. No authority, entity, or organization told them to do that. Protesting something loudly is not, in fact, censorship.

*not available in Japan

*Same*

I would totally wear this entire outfit, minus the hat. And I would rock it.