Bitter, Angry and Unfunny

What I want is for there to be some college that only uses gadget plays and weird schemes. All the time. It would be a historically terrible program, so it’s all upside (I’m looking at you, Colorado State). Then you get some guru to go nuts. Never punt. Go with insane formations. Randomly pull plays out of a hat. One…

He deleted the original tweet, so it’s a screengrab. Take a break, Jeff. Everything’s okay.

You'd think some of those other sorority teams would rush the quarterback better.

She’s like Tebow, but accurate, and has seen a vagina in real life.

They are a military branch, not a whaling company.

Did you tell him to go fuck himself? Because otherwise, no ones cares.

Hate to say it, but Michael Phelps lost an alarmingly small amount of major races in 2001-2012. The guy is on par with any athlete at their respective sport in history. And this was while racing many guys who would have been the best all time in their events had Phelps not been there to crush their dreams.

The weight and measure was spot on...

...really? That curve, from that distance, between three defenders? COME ON MAN!

Beat it, nerd!

Historically shitty football team? Harvard? I’ll just leave this here:

“We lead the nation in drifters.”

I watched more college football than normal over Thanksgiving, and it seemed that they had way less penalties in general, as well as way less instances where the refs are totally confused. Are the refs better in college? Is the game slower? It made the game much better to watch when every play over 10 yards wasn’t…

“Who the fuck still uses a payphone?”

I’ve never seen a haircut add as many years to a person as Neymar’s new ‘do.

The latter is here:

To be fair, he did try to give her the D, it just got intercepted and taken back for 6.

Yabbut Tim Howard is an American.

Is that the one where he pulls a muscle after a few seconds and then sits on a bench for five months?