“Agent Herrera ready with another pitcher on codename Sandburger. Looks on target, and Herrera will readies a refill while Sandburger finishes coughing.

“I once had a great hamburger with the Ayatollah Khomeni back in ‘81. We were at a place in Argentina with an on-the-run Adolf Hitler — who hated Billy Carter, for…

I know it’s beside the point but I do kind of like that these people’s understanding of what bombs look like seems to begin and end with Roadrunner cartoons.

The synchronized “Yeah! Awwwww... YEAH!!!!” of the crowd is positively entrancing.

It’s the new correct horse battery staple!

Bishop Sankey Dumpoff Option

If you were to ask a fan before the season “A 48-yard PAT will be attempted this year, which team will try it?” 98 out of 100 would pick the Browns. The other two would pick the Jets.

This seems like Deadspin being angry for the sake of being angry.

First player to go pro right out of High School.

This deserves 273 stars

I’m kind of surprised that, as a subsidiary of Gawker, they didn’t decline to name his assailants, and then out the victim as gay.

Seriously, you are part of the problem. Don’t reproduce.

Counterpoint. Go Fuck Yourself.

Poor Beavers. I bet they still give a dam.. !

When you at the bar and everyone starts singing along to Taylor Swift

If he were a real Dodger fan he would have been listening to the double as he pulled out of the Angel Stadium parking lot.

Go choke on a cheesesteak.

Dont sleep on Barry O!

Too bad you can’t beat the Giants, I’ll take our rings over yours any day.

Connect the dots, man...

Bartolo Colon is the human embodiment of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯