Again with the Tebow bashing. Sure, he had control problems in college, but NOBODY outworks Tebow on improving his gumption control. Tebow has worked tirelessly with the BEST gurus in football to improve his gumption, along with his moxie, his pep, and his grit. ESPECIALLY his grit.

What the fuck kind of Cobra Kai is that?

Couldn’t trample anything but a tune.

Every team and every fanbase makes it easy. The reason it’s easy is that the NFL is basically an organization run by cartoon villains, owned by kleptocrats, played by murderous wife-beaters and worshipped by the worst collective stereotype of American Idiocracy.

It must only be for show, because YEAH RIGHT like any Packers fan could actually fit in a Smart car.

Best part of the Seahawks debacle was Russell Wilson — whom every corn-fed apple-cheeked Lake Wobegon extra wants to think was discovered by Bret Bielema throwing footballs when his train stopped to cool its brakes in Madison — was the one taking the biggest shit all over a bandwagon even bigger than Badger football.

I mean, look at that mess. Hideous.

obligatory.

I’m suing Denise

There’s Art Schilcter, Mercury Morris, Rae Carruth, Plaxico Burress, Sam Hurd, Russell Erxleben (that takes care of the special teams, he could kick and punt), Hollywood Henderson, Mark Ingram, Bam Morris, Nate Newton ... fuck, we could have a depth chart for every position three players deep.

I’m old. I miss that Summerall-Madden team for the NFC games.

There’s a reason some of the top cancer research facilities are in Houston. The whole town is a carcinogen.

As a Houston resident, Dallas is a constant source of stress relief. It’s like having a brother you never really connected with as kids who later got convicted of selling child porn. We win by default. Our fly-ridden hell hole is modern, cultured and nuanced because, compared to Dallas, it is!

Chicken cacciatore.

Police were surprised to learn that the knife was fake, as they’d legitimately believed it was real for a long time, although some of the smarter ones had had their doubts.

Trutherism aside, Pete Carroll is an unfailingly positive and decent guy.

Well, it doesn’t make him a bad dog, just weird.

#BlackLabsMatter

Last night, she retired after 649 consecutive games.