This is why he doesn't want to be called a feminist....

Did you grow up in a white liberal city like SF? I've met a lot of guys, boomers and older- usually on the west coast- that are manage to be condescending, sexist, patronizing and well versed in feminist lit all at the same time.

Thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavor.

The difference is nobody ever tries to convince you a trip to Camden will be fun.

I once tried to give a football speech before a game in 8th grade.

Pah, this shit is easy. You just need to be Shakespeare and/or Kenneth Branagh. And if to live? The fewer men, the greater share of honor! Ken's team would have won by 47 touchdowns.

Everyone knows the Pacino speech? DAMN RIGHT WE DO!

The gold standard for "lots of fucks" in a fiery locker room speech.

On the Origin of Speciousness

Piazza said he didn't get the votes because of all the pussy he gets.

As a Republican, Curt should be less concerned with where his votes are coming from and more concerned with suppressing them.

Of course Curt Schilling isn't gonna listen to a bunch of old geezer sportswriters. Why would he start paying attention to fossils now?

Leave it to a creationist to start making shit up.

Nick seems to have been a source of accurate and straightforward information, so fair play to him.

My aunt asked me what a pearl necklace is. #embarrassment

Maybe it's because I'm freezing but I am now calling my vagina an igloo.

We have to stop criminalizing teenage dumbassness. Teens will always be stupid. That's what being a teenager is for.

SO META

Cowboys getting away with things is nothing new. Look at history: Billy the Kid! Jesse James! That dead-eyed ginger puppet with a terribly offensive slang-name for human feces who sang to children in the 1940's! Not enough concerned parents, that's the real problem! Too much loud music and sex talk! Low pants and…