Well, I'm guessing a former head of Libyan intelligence and the dudes from Enron have pretty deep pockets.

My neighbor's sister has been selling her poop, and she has just bought a new BMW! I started last week and have been making avg. $80/hr. pooping at home. You can do it too!

The way the media's talking (while simultaneously NOT talking) about how Bruce Jenner might be transitioning is so gross and fascinating to me in the same way that the media's way of talking (while simultaneously NOT talking) about Kristen Stewart's alleged bisexuality is so gross and fascinating. The implied message…

Let's call it what it is: I don't feel like attending my fucking running club tonight because I'm bloated, exhausted, and bleeding profusely every time I sneeze. If I had to do hill repeats on my period, I'd probably hemorrhage and die, discomforting our running coach who has legit shat himself during a marathon but…

She sounds like an asshole but Holly Hobby Lobby is a pretty great name.

For a second I thought you were fucking Hagrid. Thank God you weren't.

This girl that I remain excellent friends with to this day. Now, the girl herself wasn't the problem. Nor was the act. It wasn't even the morning after. It was the afternoon after, when I met up with a friend whom I had canceled plans with due to, well, the girl.

giiiirl! Can we talk? You have exceptionally bad taste in men but thanks for sharing.

We went to highschool together. The first time we ever boned, he was counting, out loud. It wasnt until he gasped out "...three!..." that I realised he was counting at all. When he got to "....six!...." he came. He was counting the thrusts....out loud. He's still known as "Thrusty" to my friends. He went a bit cray…

I love the combo of macho pissing contest with a loose-leaf tea break.

BYE PHYLICIA.

How are these puppies being distributed to the people

I'm not a conservative but just think about the cost of obtaining and distributing 300,000,000+ puppies. secondly I would suspect that it would be a result of lobbying by pet stores, dog food companies etc. etc. thats corruption.

further more, where do you even get 300 million+ puppies, forced breeding in mass puppy…

flappy bird cheats

We might laugh, but I've never seen an Argentinian werewolf so it's clearly working.

I tried masturbating several times over the course of my late teens and early twenties and I never got anywhere close to reaching orgasm. I read websites, I talked to my friends, I bought a vibrator, nothing worked. I vividly remember bursting into tears after having sex with my boyfriend once because I was so…

I've never had an orgasm. Ever. Getting married in a few months to a guy who has never gotten me off. I love him and I like sex well enough because it makes me feel connected to him, but I'd also be fine without sex. I spent a long time feeling very broken and still sometimes feel that way, but at this point I think…

I've never come, ever, with anyone. It doesn't particularly bother me because I guess you can't miss what you don't know? But it sure is annoying. Proper boyfriends tend to notice quite quickly and then there is a chat and them confidently announcing they will be the one to make it happen. Then comes the slow erosion…

Hate-watching isn't a thing. You can't observe this kind of thing without tacitly participating. People who think they're better than the people they're tuning in every week to see are suffering from a pretty hilarious case of cognitive dissonance.