True fax, I once bought a dude I was so into (he was the one that got away to me at 23, and then I realized that my HS self and my adult self didn't have the same taste) an elephant thong as a gag gift. He sent me a picture of himself wearing it and he...did not fill out the trunk. Let's just go with that. It was fine…

These are men who consider themselves against sexual assault, and are shocked to find themselves accused of it.

If she's smart (and evidence has shown that she's extraordinarily smart and motivated to remain free) she's already gotten on the move to another country without extradition laws.

I absolutely love McDonald's but have never thought they were the shittiest food for the cheapest price possible. They always seemed rather expensive to me for a not very large amount of food compared to other places. I wish they would go the opposite way, even worse quality food for less money and then I would eat…

If you're putting underpants on your tits you're doing it wrong.

So last week I posted about trying online dating. The site rhymes with "oshay stupid," it's free and I'm broke. The problem I'm having is I get LOTS of view, but no messages. Or at least the messages I've gotten so far are generic at best like "lol" or "hi babe" and to boot, they are way below my percentage matches.…

My mother and her slimy failed jazz drummer husband (who would moo at fat women and whose idea of a compliment was telling me I looked pretty enough for him to ask out) had a VIBRATING WATERBED which they thought was the height of erotic elegance. The damn thing would shake every light fixture in the house. It's been…

Well, other than being alone as usual on a Holiday, my worst complaint has to be that you haven't taken me out of the grays yet Madeleine. I am polite, caring, occasionally opinionated but never inflammatory, and I've been a faithful Jezzie since the first month you gals started this. I don't comment a lot, but I…

My husband and I more or less hide from Thanksgiving. Basically any year where everybody gets through that week without a trip to the hospital, somebody losing their job, or being investigated for possible child labor violations (or a combination of those) we consider it a win.

I remember going to Israel as a child/teenager and being totally in awe of how hot the army guys were. I went there a couple years ago and I was like, "How can they let these little babies carry these huge guns?"

You will get choked out tho https://www.aclu.org/blog/racial-ju…

#corrections

You should try Special Dark dipped in Skyline Chili !

Okay, this might be unpopular, and I understand if you ignore it. But I really dislike this post. Like, a lot.

I got married a year ago, and at the time I found there to be quite a bit of anti-wedding bias on the Jezebel editorial staff; a good deal of the wedding-related posts were mocking traditions or, worse,…

This is like some bullshit Mr. Krabs would pull.

Nothing helps a person in need like the consistent publishing of the ongoing details of their downfall.

Oh get the hell out of here with that false dichotomy bullshit.

Since my tale of how I flew to Canada to get laid failed to even get me out of the greys last week, I'm going to tell you EXACTLY how my Canadian beau broke up with me when I got there. It's pretty raunchy and I apologize in advance.

you know what drives me nuts about that ad campaign? That those are holsteins. They're dairy cows.

I've lost my patience for people who are annoyed by pumpkin spice.