I think you may need to have your vision checked.  He’s gorgeous.

Are you joking? Businesses operate to make a profit. A business’ only loyalty is to its shareholders. Government should serve the people and does not operate to generate profit (or at least it shouldn’t.) Making decisions to run a business and making decisions to run an entire country are not even on the same scale.

Running a business, successful or no, does not fucking qualify someone to run the government.

NO. No more fucking businessmen in politics. I would hope we as a country learned our lesson.

1. What is this crusty old fool talking about.

Nancy Pelosi taking legal possession of his balls,

I just....I can’t even believe this is real life right now. You don’t just ignore a damn subpoena, genius.

Or you can be like my co-workers and waltz in at 3 PM, or just not show up at all some days, and face zero consequences and even get a promotion/raise sometimes!

That is ADORABLE. You all sound like the best coworkers ever.  What a beautiful gesture!

Her response was pure poetry.

Sorry, I had to. I’m really excited for this.

I mean, is he volunteering to blast himself into space by 2020?  Because I’d be totally on board with that.

I don’t want to be that person, but just looking at this kid makes me angry.

I <3 Cuomo. You can literally see him thinking “what the actual fuck is this guy on about?”

Yeah, does not compute.  I’m 5'5" and like 190 and I wear a size 12. Where are they getting these numbers from??

Good faith? Please. That “offer” was nothing more than a fart in the wind.

I mean, if it helps, your immune system is probably now like “come at me bro!”

Except the “deal” he proposed is bullshit. He’s a liar, we all know this. Who’s to say he wouldn’t agree to this to reopen the government, and then change his mind 30 minutes later when he goes home to watch Faux News and blow up the whole thing like last time? He simply can’t be trusted.

“That there is no way out unless either [President Donald Trump] or we relent entirely.”