That’s not a martini, it’s just cold Vodka or Gin. Which is fine! I don’t mind a Voddie on the rocks occasionally. The keeping it in the freezer thing I don’t do, because it won’t melt the ice very easily which is important for a little dilution. You end up drinking straight Vodka/Gin with very little water in it,…

Being in deep shit while grappling on the ground is significantly worse than being in deep shit on your feet. It’s a matter of degrees, yes, but you can’t run if you’re on the floor.

No. Grappling and going to the ground is a recipe to get curb stomped by your opponent’s friends. Rarely will you get into a fight with someone who is alone, without buddies. This “MMA” illusion is a sure way to get your ass sent to the hospital. If you can’t avoid the fight (and I mean you have tried to back down,…

Spamwich my mom used to make when I was a wee lad: Spam, Kraft singles, and a slice of Pineapple. It’s quite the combo of flavors!

“...it’s that much less money for everything else, including salaries.” Hahahahahaha.... Good one!

Texas is actually old Florida, before Florida became, you know, FLORIDA. Sometime in the 1980s the ascendancy of Florida man was complete and America’s penis became the bastion of batshittery you see today, but before that Texas was a strong contender. 

I do camembert and ham, or as I call it: a Hamembert Sandwich.

That is pretty ignorant. Cookouts are common all over the world, the only necessary thing is that you are “cooking out”.

Green looks like a semi-sentient potato though

There are dozens of you....DOZENS!!!!

From my lengthy service career, this one wasn’t so bad:

you sure that’s not Paninus?

He can bike 31 miles, you said “Oh, that’s not a long distance, it would take about an hour or so for regular people”. What do YOU call it when someone goes 31 miles in an hour? Here on Earth it’s called going 31 miles per hour.

Regular people ride at 31 mph? Not in my world, unless they’re going down a good sized hill.

Ha! From Hinckley, OH here. I remember when that store opened... it was open 24 hours and about the size of 2 football fields. Used to go in there stoned at 2 am to get Twizzlers and Mountain Dew.

It would be embarrassing, if they gave a shit.

The copy editing of GMedia is basically whatever version of spellcheck they are running.

That side eye look...

Well and good if the table informs you at the beginning, not so great if they tell you at the end of the meal just before the check is requested.