If you didn’t fart while reading his word vomit, I would be afraid you might explode. Fart away, loud and proud!

My dog has Frito feet. Apparently it’s a thing. Some sort of bacteria or fungus that gets between the pads. Too lazy to Google.

He molests teenage girls. Do you think he would draw the line at perjury?

He said he made no “romantic overtures” to her. Well, you got that right, Tommy Boy. There is nothing romantic about sexual assault.

My husband is retired Navy. Neither of us ever met a Navy doctor who handed pills out like candy. It was Motrin for everything, unless you had any kind of stomach complaint. Then you got Mylanta. But I’d be willing to bet that a good percentage of them were drunk!

Golden Corral has some fine rolls. Now I’m hungry.

I’m going to say it for you: They are 100% wrong.

No way, this has to be Alabama. The worst drivers, and not a single fucking one knows how to merge, or what a turn signal is for. I’m moving to Montana, and I could not be happier!

I assumed that her sister Pippa’s real name is Phillipa. Don’t know for sure, too lazy to look it up!

I’m moving to Montana (yay!) and there are no TJ’s (boo!) I’m stuffing myself with triple ginger cookies and dark chocolate peanut butter cups before I go.

Occasionally he throws in a “pound vag” to seem even more erudite and urbane than he obviously is.

Give her time.

Where is Paul Blart when you need him?

“I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I’m all out of bubble gum.” Rowdy Roddy Piper

My first car was a 1974 Ford Maverick. It was a spectacular piece of shit!

What about the ones who didn’t? And why don’t you ageists ever acknowledge that there is a sizable percentage of your own cohort who also voted for him? I’m damn sick of this.

This one is mesmerizing!

I think it means small cock, but either way works.

The explanation: Mick Taylor

BananaRepublicans