I kind of think the real asshole was the first server there who agreed to squeeze the coleslaw for the guy. That person set the precedent. If they had just said "I'm sorry, we're not able to do that here. How about some lightly dressed fresh coleslaw? No? I'm very sorry then, sir." And that guy would have either…

It bewilders me that people think there is some sort of loving god out there who would allow children to be subjected to such horror.

That was lovely. Erin, you get this for the FOTC reference in the blurb.

#1) He fucks dudes.

Did you actually pay them, or did the manager at the Tilted Kilt just comp them to the guy in the Sprite shirt for keeping his Tampa franchise solvent one apps plate at a time?

I could light a joint on that take.

As a former server I would put asking for water and lemons and then making ghetto lemonade at the table in the same category.

Let's add "not taking a passport as an official ID" to the list of "hit with baseball" offenses. It's FEDERALLY issued ID! Better than state! The whole country trusts me to be who I am, not just the effing DMV. Take the damn passport.

My favourite floor chip flavour is Stale Urine & Dashed Hopes.

Don't forget Zack's inexplicable ability to simply freeze time. If I would have had that gift in grade school/high school things would have gotten real weird real quick.

Yuengling is the Yugo of beer

Yuengling totally sucks. I do not understand the attraction.

I went to college in Kalamazoo. Bell's is great. Oberon is not. It's arguably their worst beer.

I love that you still jerked him off.

Best headline, you win teh internets for today.

I must be doing it wrong. I totally had to hella plunge that shit.

Um...Hitler was born in Austria. I would hope you've heard of him.