I’m a lit person who does math/logic puzzles for fun. Math is great! Even though the thing that people most often comment on when discussing my love of math is fucking sudoku (the fancy ones with boards laid on boards) which requires no math at all. Or only math up to like 100.

As a lover of sandwiches I’m simply going to assume that you need to step up your sandwich game. Who gets tired of sandwiches???

As a person with no friends other than my husband and who lives in a city with population of 250k, Meet Up really only works in big cities. I did not realize that when I moved here four years ago.

I eat at breakfast time almost never, but I eat breakfast food all day.

Omg I love this. On my last burner (proud rage quitter here) I posted this joke and spent an entire afternoon in a “discussion” with someone who thought it wasn’t funny.

For all of the terrible sex ed in the world, we actually have to force some people to pay attention anyway.

Word.

Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

You reproducing.

No.

Oh what the fuck ever. I got my dog when I was single, renting, and working a 40 hour work week. I took vacation days her first week to adjust and then she was FINE. Walk in the morning, an hour at the dog park when I got home, and it’s been 9 years and she still loves the shit out of me and is by my side every…

My dog loves hugs. She comes and sits nicely next to the couch and stares st me intensely until I give her hugs. But she is the other half of my soul (husband is okay with this).

I had a friend with your issue. I have a mother who is SUPER into fad diets (full blown orthorexia actually). Two guesses which one would actually buy the gluten free water?

You are lovely and perfect. I raise my glass to you!

No sarcasm or snark, how does a blind person build houses?

Excellent shaming of a mother’s stomach. Well fucking done. Bravo!

Eye of the Tiger is the “our song” in my marriage. (8 hours in an art car leaving Burning Man with only the 8 song cassette for music.)