If I was "lucky" enough to get an invitation I would RSVP then not show because fuck this girl. Talk about butthurt - no one CARES about all your little reasons, you speshul snowflake.

I'm not one to leap to Kim's defense, but I have not had any cosmetic procedures, yet my ass has been growing steadily for the past few years as well. It's all about the fat injections. Which I take orally, in the form of nice French cheeses. That way it doesn't show on the x rays. :)

"I'LL RAISE THIS BABY ALONE!"

What a bunch of bullshit. I really start squirming when I see people doing things just for the sake of awareness, but this is especially ridiculous. If you're going to do something "for awareness" at least spend a little time highlighting how people can contribute to research or help those with the disease. It could…

Almond farmers are very wealthy. My parents lived in the Central Valley for many years, and the almond farmers live in mansions out there.

More importantly, let's talk about what a god this man is that his feet don't even touch the ground.

I win! Bella Swan. Reasons why she is annoying, she doesn't take action even when a Vampire is threatening to tear off her arm. Bonus she sits for several months in her room possibly not showering and bruiting over a boy

squeeze that coleslaw yourself, asshole! i SWEAR i would have brought him an extra bowl and said, "have at it, coleslaw carl!" but that's probably why i quit being a server years ago. i broke and couldn't take it anymore. my hat is off to those of you who do it!

[Editor's Note - "Pouring One Out" is not an effective method of birth control.]

Guytactic. Play stupid so you won't have to do it.

place where you need to explicitly ask for french fries NOT to be on your salad (Editor's Note: Goddamit, Pittsburgh, you're embarrassing yourself)

Something happens to people when they become customers, man. It makes them cray. This summer I've been working at a job where I end up interacting with tourists a lot. I work in a busy area of major city and it boggles my mind how much tourists expect the whole damn city to function like an all inclusive resort where…

I am having a difficult time comprehending the hand squeezed cole slaw. Also, I think I just barfed in my mouth.

I would charge him $30 for being such a dipshit.

Yeah, don't even bother packing more than a couple days of clothes. You won't need them.

HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE DOESN'T EAT STEAM #don'tassume

I have seen them. I think I keep straining something, I roll my eyes so much.

A few weeks ago, an American citizen left Liberia and traveled Nigeria for a conference, switching planes in Ghana and Togo. He exhibited developed a fever and vomiting while on the plane and when he arrived in Lagos, collapsed in the airport. He was immediately hospitalized, and died five days later.

My son was conceived when I was working in Sichuan. When he's older, I really hope he gets a "Made in China" tattoo.