I call it the "Roger Klotz."

Where I'm from we call it "The Macklemore". Bet you can guess where I'm from.

what is a spring ren faire diet? that sounds like my kinda diet if it just included turkey legs and meat pies?

You know what's even better than a really big bed? Separate bedrooms! Yep.

Same exact issue! He calls it "latching on" and hooks his leg over me (not realizing he is twice my size and that leg is very heavy!) then weaves his arms through mine so I'm trapped. I wait till he's passed out (usually within 5 minutes) and slowly wiggle my way out. I just can't sleep when someones touching me, I…

By the way, may I just say—because no one else has—twatwaffles?

How does a York Peppermint Patty or a Reese's Cup? They're round!

Fuck white white chocolate. It's not even real chocolate.

Good grief, no. I bet they think couples should spend all their leisure time together, too.

it's chocolate covered honeycomb, treat yo self

YOU GO AHEAD AND EAT THAT SUNSCREEN SCENTED LOG OF DISAPPOINTMENT! I'll be over here, enjoying real candy.

But bro, do you even violet crumble?!

Preach, girl! White chocolate is the dumbest substance on the planet.

You are my long-lost twin.

I just want to point out to all of you white chocolate lovers *shudder* that you are eating solidified

You are psychotic.

Making a list of Chocolate bars and not having Snickers at #1 is like someone making a list of rock bands and not putting the Beatles at #1. It's like "Yeah, yeah, you're different from everyone else, we get it."

I hate white chocolate. Like what the fuck is that shit? White chocolate is fucking chocolate with everything good sucked out of it, leaving it some sugary piece of goo.

"first, these must be candy bars widely available in the US."

Hershey's Cookies & Creme? You have no idea what you're talking about. That selection alone negates your ENTIRE list.