Thank god. For a while there I thought I was being racist for thinking all the winners looked alike.

Haven’t seen someone spend this much time running around Philadelphia with inevitable disappointment on the horizon since Hillary Clinton.

It’s irrelevant whether this is a good or bad appointment. Sally Jewell has done a fine job, but if Obama let Malia make that decision based on her own personal interests, then the process is fucked and our democracy meaningless.

Kinda weird that he’s all of a sudden worried about the little guys.

I guess you could say the new CBA is a kick to the balls to your average journeyman, eh?

Maybe IBM can dust off their old punch card machines.

At least they all probably stand for the national anthem though.

I will.

Your life must’ve been very frustrating before you discovered your particular fetish.

this is actually great for me because i can’t get off unless i turn my television up to max volume while buster olney is talking about structural damage to the throwing bone

small businesses around america say they need help to survive in an increasingly hostile business environment, but let me ask my small business owner friends this: why haven’t you injected your employees with steroids and forced them to battle each other on top of ladders while wearing thongs?

Lets just look at the situation, an otherwise normal running back kills himself and is found in a seemingly bizarre scenario, “no foul play” seemed at first until his family produced a suicide note...

look, I have no particular beef with joe biden, but why the fuck do we let anyone serve in the senate for 36 years? Why the fuck we do let anyone hold any office for that long?

Black people, amirite???

Spare Tyrod, spoil the child.

We call them hoagies in Philadelphia. Not heroes.

If you’re not from Brazil, it’s hard to understand the magnitude of this tragedy.

I laughed, I cried, I renounced my citizenship.