Because they’re making everything up as they go along. While groping comically for precedent and context in a sad attempt to prove they’re not.

If you haven’t seen the commercial that’s taken from, it’s pretty great.

Black Foals is Nick?

“We need to talk about elements of provocation. Getting pregnant, answering the door. We’ve got to do what we can to prevent this situation.”

Just give me the baby and the Steve Buschemi dog and we will all go live happily ever after far the fuck away from these garbage people.

Either way. Either way.

Next Up: How To Spot If Your S/O Has In Fact Changed Her Hair.

Also, in lieu of sugarcubes or simple syrup, you can use real maple syrup. Not that aunt jemima/log cabin HFCS crap, i mean the real thing. It gives the same sweetness and the maple flavor gives it this earthy awesome depth. Not the manliest configuration, but its DELICIOUS.

-1

Clearly the Jets wanted to see how well he fit in with the organization.

A. Why would you send someone to Amazon for a bracket? Local hardware store (preferred) or worst-case, Lowe’s or HD. Shopping online for something like this should be an absolute last resort, not the first resource mentioned.

Are those caster chairs on a rug at the dinner table?

"So, uh, is there a Grandpa, Grandma?"

Great, now I have to Google her boobs.

As an Eagles fan in his early forties, I can tell you for a fact that I'm getting too old for this shit.

eagles fan for 30 years here. what the fuck is going on. what the fuck what the fuck.

"So he's big? And you said he can block? And he's tough? What's his name? Whiteside? Get him on the phone!"

He was so well-spoken too.

I used to be like you, then I had a child. I realized the folly of my ways and how ridiculous it all was. I've been sick maybe twice since she's been born. Now I make it a point to wholeheartedly F#@% with people that are how I used to be and when they aren't looking I make it a point to touch my poo-germ covered…

I can't be the only one who hears the lyrics as "amazing cunt", right?