Hey Mr. Buttercables, watch out there.

The whole thunderbolt thing is a Thor subject to me.

I get what you're saying. You have the right sentiment. On the other hand, your approach to the solution is almost certainly bound to fail. I do not have a better solution. A brilliant one is out there, though; I do have faith in that.

The CTRL, C, and V buttons on his keyboard must be worn quite thin.

Do you have any "great" things you still want to do? Or are you feeling mostly content in an I've-been-there-done-that fashion? And is there anything you'd have done differently regarding just your professional/career choices in life? Plus... how often do you read Gizmodo?

The DOJ has unlimited funds, manpower, and time. They never give up, they never relent, and all incentives are pointed toward prevailing pre-trial. If you can actually get the DOJ to trial, it seems your chances are better as they're so incompetent that sometimes they can't seal the deal in the courtroom. But before…

I thought maybe "cernettes" was French for flat-chested.

How do you measure out a cubic meter of water? Fill it up in a container and eyeball the level to the filling mark? A drop of water is about a mL. There are a million mL in a cubic meter. If you add 999,999 drops of water, I add 1,000,000 drops of water, and someone else adds 1,000,001 drops of water—the filling level…

Could be 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, or 22 grams, too.

"...will show the information in real time, from trace amounts of cocaine on your dollar bills..."

How do you make sure you have exactly a cubic meter of water; what's the measurement process... and with such a volume of water, there's going to be differing water density throughout the container (the water at the bottom will be more dense than at the top, by a small amount). Also... isotope variations will affect…

How will you make sure it's perfectly filled to parts-per-billion accuracy (not too much water, not too little)?

And this.

He did get it right. 1 L = 1000 cubic cm = 1 kg = 0.001 cubic meters.

No one seems to have mentioned it, but there are a lot of things that can affect gravity and how much things weigh. The earth's gravity almost certainly changes over time, globally and locally... this would affect how much things weigh over time, maybe even over a timeframe of 100 years. I can only assume Le Grande K…

No. A mole of something is that something's mean molecular weight in grams. The molecular weight of water is about 18, so a mole of water is 0.018 kg. There is no atom heavy enough for which a mole of it will give us a kilogram. If you had a kilodalton protein, a mole of it would weigh 1000g.

If you just said "carbon atoms" your method would only be accurate to about 1 part per trillions due to C14, as the weight of C14 atoms on earth is constantly changing. Furthermore, on earth there's a particular ratio of carbon atoms which all weigh differently, so you'd need to specify the the ratios very precisely.…

Doctors used to administer IV (intravenous) alcohol to pregnant women to arrest pre-term labor contractions.

Rosie O'Donnell reported a similar incident a while back?

New commenting system stinks for these types of glorious, long-running, riffing responses :(