"So, Edward, tell us- and I must remind you that you are under oath, young man- Tell us please: Where were you the night this terrible stabbing took place??"

From the episode I watched, I remember that Papa Johns had a deal on 2 medi pizzas and L'Oreal has some new fuck-me mascara. Oh, and dove is donating to portion of its proceeds to tit-cancer or something. Yeah. It was a real good show.

General Sherman to attend Falcons training camp.

Tori says:

let me know when Tori is somehow involved in something more salacious. Like a child prostitution ring or serial murder.

There are often wonderfully nuanced and intellectually stimulating discussions, on a range of topics, here on Jezebel. This of course doesn't appear to be one, as you'd rather defend mediocrity than wryly admit our celebrity/media obsessed culture is a bit too vapid. My critique is broad-based. Nothing personal, as…

I'm afraid I didn't see anything about a Kardasian. Can we please remedy this?

I'd hate to think Proctor and Gamble is the only way to personal frustrations.

I'll do just that when it becomes entertaining. You can have my space at the trough.

Yeah, I've met plenty of dipshits who read The DaVinci Code in between episodes of Lost. Real thinkers, these types.

I'm worried that someday the Uncanny Valley will prevent me from receiving a pleasurable robot blowjob.

Unfortunately, this may spark a decline in mall shootings.

Here's a quick glance at a library, where you can be find infinite entertainment, rich in depth and quality beyond anything possible on network television, ever. Consider a higher quality source of entertainment that doesn't require you to be advertised to. Because that's the only fucking thing NBC cares about. That's…

primates kill whales...

"Psst! Jen, did hear the news?!"

Save the Whale-Killing Whales (?!)

Sweet Home Alabama, ca. 1981

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