If the guy on the right is in front of a mirror, which I think he is, it looks like he has a full-on Cliff Clavin mustache. It could be one of Dakota Johnson’s batwings, but this might calm you down.

Or Roger Ailes. Or Bill O’Reilly. Or Bill Cosby.

I know the point of this article was to show how terrible this guy is but now I want chocolate milk.

If your sweater fits on a hamster, it's safe to say you shrunk it too much

Why the cynicism? This is terrific body art!

But then people wont click it unless they're promised articles so mind blowing they'll piss themselves with excitement.

Yes! And I will crash that wedding for some cake!

There will never be a better kinja username than this. Ever. You get a follow JUST for that.

Wait so if it's cake, I can serve that for dessert at my wedding right?

She actually said it in Cantonese, so Lord know what that would has translated to.

Gawd contouring again.. Etss everywhere!!

To quote my mother, "they all looks the same in your stomach."

Please explain how big this is and what this is....

See also: Chicago-style flat-dish bagels.

Lonely places without the love of a good pizza.

This is my smug face.

I like how she was playing angry birds the whole time too.

Girl can actually sing, I gotta give her that. Doesn't make me stop wishing she's wear some damn pants once in a while.

As long as we aren't ever exposed to O'Reilly being sexual, we'll be OK.