This would’ve all been a lot funnier if the KFC DJ set had actually been good...

I'd rather eat chicken than stand in a crowd full of sweaty people tripping balls to loud bass that's played off of laptop

This piece is why I still love Deadspin/Gawker/whatever. Well written and well argued.

Clown in space, because he obviously intentionally sneaks into the spaceship to stalk you. It’s scarier when you’re a target. 

Goddamn I came in here all ready to say this should have been A Very Short Debate post that just said “ocean” but Burneko has swayed me with his existential dread.

[slaps the bong out of Albert and Patrick’s hands]

The only relevant inquiry is whether its scarier to find a clown in the ocean or a clown in space?  Answer me that, idiots. 

1. Space is scarier than the ocean.
2. Things in the Ocean are scarier than things in space.

Feel like he seems to be more like the “masturbating to a mannequin leg” type guy instead of the harassing real people in life type, fingers crossed...

Would it count if the accuser is Chevy Chase?

i’d be genuinely surprised. i feel like he’s admitted so much ugliness about himself already, he has no cards left to show.

A super bowl champion millionaire.

I would gladly sacrifice my respect to live the life of Brock. In 20 years no one will remember anyway and he’ll be a god damn millionaire.

Yeesh. At the home opener they brought out someone from Detroit Public Schools. All I could think was, the taxpayers are on the hook for this half empty building and the kids in the city don’t have textbooks, etc. What. The. Fuck...

Little Caesars: Come see our empty insides before we do the same to you.

The point of the arena deal and that wad of taxpayer cash was to “revitalize” a moribund downtown. That it’s taken a single home game (and that might even be generous) for the new car smell to wear off should encapsulate pretty neatly the scam of publicly financed stadiums.

“Rick and Morty makes the profit charts and dollar graphs get bigger,” said a local business goblin. “They have created a world, a world where we receive additional money. I don’t know what cartoons are.”

Maybe I’m in a bubble or something, but I see far more people complaining about R&M fans than I do the outrageous behavior in question. Even in the R&M subreddit, which I’d expect to be inundated with that crap, complains about that crap. (I don’t sub to it, I just poked around trying to see examples of this shit.)

No, they HEARD a lot of new words. That doesn’t mean they learned shit!

If you’ve ever seen Tom Brady with his shirt off you would never accuse him of using PEDs. I’ve seen 10 year olds with more muscular and athletic looking bodies.