@Becky_MI: Gourmet Spud (surprise surprise) had a few gems on the John Henry post.

@son of spam: RYLAI would like a word...and maybe a blowjob.

Frustrating ass day. Spent ten hours at work sitting and dicking around on deadspin (which would be great except for how boring sitting with nothing to do for ten hours is), got reprimanded by RYLAI for latent homophobia, and then spent two hours trying to tutor a kid in differential equations...which would be fine…

@Shakεy: in-voluntary?

@savedbypurplejesus: My guess is massively overgrown muscle cells. Those group in fibers and an arm that huge, infected, and being drained could conceivably just push some out...maybe?

@D'Amicos one good year: So someone give me a hand here. But a hematoma shouldn't look like a white worm, yes?

Shits going to hit the fan when the kid looks like Manny.

@Rock You Like An Iracane: We only do that for attractive athletes.

Dear Linda,

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: but guys...come on. it'll be fun...we'll all invite the jezebel commentors over. it'll be awesome. i can be sensitive and understanding, and CPSL can ask for relationship advice from the horse's mouth.

@Rock You Like An Iracane: FAG!

Listen. I understand my kid's missing. I've gone on TV and done what I can...but right now, there are more important things to be doing.

If it works for Ian Poulter...

I have a good idea. Let's put a basketball hoop right over a giant gap in the pavement.

The real treatment is in South Carolina where Steve Spurrier will...

You know what would have gotten you to 5 consecutive no-hitters?

@Father of 2 Future First Rounders: Got in an argument about whether or not Emancipation Proclamation was a board game.

Enola Gay: Not an atomically-armed bomber, just a plane that got tired of carrying shit.

This is exactly why males and females simply shouldn't compete against eachother.

Gilmore and his wife, Colleen, agreed to schedule the birth of their daughters in the off-season